Here's a poem for you. Author unknown.
A Cold Poem
It’s Winter in Illinois
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At thirty five below.
Oh, how I love Illinois
When the snow’s up to your butt.
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I’ll hang around.
I could never leave Illinois
‘Cause I’m frozen to the ground.