I hoped it wouldn't come to this

Asian Jumping Carp

  We held a secret meeting of the board and a few members of the Lake Management Commission in the basement of the administration office Monday evening and came to a conclusion none of us wanted to contemplate.
  It seems the Asian Jumping Carp have managed to enter our lake through Beaver Creek, jumping up the spillway, and there is only one way to rid ourselves of them before they completely ruin our lake and become the only surviving species. 
We must drain the lake and let it dry out for about a year to be sure no eggs survive.
   When this is accomplished all fish will be gone. Plants that normally grow on dry land will take over the lake bottom making it an algae factory. To restore the lake will be simply too expensive so the decision has been made to drain the lake then simply fill it in, leaving a stream running down the center. The new land area created will be used to expand Savannah Oaks, our hugely successful golf course.
  Obviously the name “Candlewick Lake” will no longer make any sense so we will be re-naming our community “Candlewick Golf.” “Candlewick Stream” just sounded silly. All were in agreement on that point.
  Let's see now, what is today? Oh, that's right it is April Fool's Day.
Ken