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| Darrell about three years ago |
Friday I drove my 46 year old son in by Chicago to have his initial testing appointment to qualify for a clinical trial of a drug that has shown promise in slowing or stopping progression of his disease, Frontal temporal dementia (FTD). It is a progressive disease. His initial test scored an 18 and 20 was the threshold for inclusion in the study. He is out and although I requested a re-test there is a waiting list so he is out for good. To say this was a set back is minimizing the feeling. This was the possibility for a man who was very successful operating his own business before this disease attacked him from nowhere a couple years ago. I will not stop fighting for him, taking any avenue available. This, by the way, is April's Dad. I have written of April here before.
It is interesting the way the subconscious reacts to these type events. Friday night I had a dream. Although I could not tell who was in the car with me the two of us were driving in the country. The passenger mentioned seeing a turkey on a distant hill. I looked and thought it was far too large to be a turkey but didn't comment. We started up a hill that became steeper and steeper. The car was struggling with the engine roaring to make it up the hill. When we reached the top all that could be seen was sky. There was no way of knowing if it was a cliff in front of us or an extremely steep angle going down the other side. We were almost teetering at the top. It was far too steep an incline to back down. That was when I awoke. I have no doubt it was my subconscious reacting to the current situation with Darrell. We have tried so hard and only something very dangerous and uninviting lies ahead.
It would be so easy to say God has failed us, no, not us, Darrell. I must always remember he is the one suffering. It is not about me at all. His family are nothing but bystanders as this plays out. God is the only entity that can intervene and decide Darrell has suffered enough. Faith must get us through this horrible trial as we watch a wonderful father and Christian deteriorate mentally. Please pray that doors will open for him. He needs your help. He is part of your Candlewick family, having lived here about twenty years and raised his kids here. He does not deserve this fate.
Ken